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What if waiting to Google is even hotter than building up tension before you have sex? “I know a girl who went on a date and was so into the guy, and then she Googled him and THE ENTIRE FIRST PAGE OF RESULTS was about his wedding.”I demanded she reveal her date’s full name, then barraged her with information, pictures, and links to his videos. IGNORANCE IS NOT AN EXCUSE.” I had become a Google monster, the social terror that Big Data hath wrought. When I surveyed our friends about the topic, I discovered more fell into Naomi’s camp than mine.“She found me and liked a photo I’d posted of myself, which I found exciting.But then I clicked through to her profile and she seems to be close with someone I think has a negative opinion of me. Am I doomed to be alone forever because I pissed off a popular ex-girlfriend? That’s the feeling that rises up in my throat whenever anyone asks me the totally non-condescending question of why I’m still single, which I’ve answered so many times in so many tones (“Just haven't met the right guy, I guess! There was the guy who kept taking calls from a number he’d labeled “Happy Happy Fun Time,” which turned out to be his drug dealer. I've met guys in bars, at parties, while snowboarding, through friends, and online via Ok Cupid, Match, Tinder, Hinge, Happn, Bumble, The League, How About We, Coffee Meets Bagel, and even Nerve.com, a site for “literary smut” that hosted online personals in that early-aughts dark age before smartphones.Even material provided can be damning, particularly in the early stages of a relationship.

Am I even capable of thinking about a topic — human, animal, vegetable, or otherwise — without performing a topic-adjacent Google search at some point? “When everything is accessible, sometimes it’s hotter NOT to go there.

After years of negotiating the onslaught of personal information available online, most had concluded that stalking dates online was a fool’s errand.

Not everyone had Naomi’s self-control, but, like her, many defaulted to the language of chastity when discussing online date research.

“I definitely assume everyone is a Republican,” Becky, a 26-year-old elementary school teacher and Democrat who dates all political persuasions, told me.

“I can’t limit my options here; I don’t have so many.” She’s not kidding.